So, it seems the England squad have been sworn to secrecy...
There's a legal embargo on anyone who's been in contact...
It'll be kept a secret until the great unveiling...
Is it a new signing? A football rescue package? The latest FergieCorp excuse package?
Nope, it's another new fecking England kit, being kept secret with the same tenacity as MI6 employee lists, by which I mean tons of guards and millions of pounds of high tech security equipment... and it'll still end up splashed over the newspapers when some duffer leaves it on a train.
It's being kept a highly guarded secret until a specified England match next month where the players will warm up hiding it under tracksuits and finally reveal it at kickoff.
One small question.
Who gives a capuchin monkey's right nut about it to THAT extent?
Yes, it'll be interesting in a vague "oh, look what they want us to spend money on now" kind of way but a top secret project?
Is it going to be able to administer sub-cutaneous doses of sedative to Rooney every time a decision doesn't go his way?
Perhaps it'll be a new design featuring a combination of leather, latex and steel rings with a horse hair lining to reflect the self-flagellating martyr nature of England footy fans and the team?
Perhaps it'll come with a pop up white flag ready for the World Cup knockout stages?
Or perhaps, like the preceding God knows how many, it'll be a white shirt with a red cross somewhere and a three lions badge on it, almost indistinguishable from all the others before it except by the minutest of changes needed to call it new and charge everyone another 40 quid.
It's a sodding football kit, not a car design or the latest jet fighter blueprints, just release the damn thing on a certain day without all this ridiculously childish secrecy.
23/01/09 @ 09:31